


Mental Spiral

by EthanTheAnnus



Series: they're homiesexual,,, the socks r coming off,,, [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, COVID19, Coronavirus, First Meetings, For the DTSS Discord Halloween Event, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, No Dialogue, kinda???, lockdown - Freeform, mental spiral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26897008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EthanTheAnnus/pseuds/EthanTheAnnus
Summary: The first week was fine. It felt almost normal, in an odd way; George rarely left his house as it was, and the mask wasn’t a big deal when he did go out.He recorded videos, as usual, streamed, and generally went about his daily routine. Everything was fine.Until it wasn’t.-OR-Lockdown sends George into a mental spiral.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: they're homiesexual,,, the socks r coming off,,, [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959235
Comments: 11
Kudos: 359





	Mental Spiral

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dwarf_planet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwarf_planet/gifts).



> For Sammy; hope you like it!!! (I'm so creative with fic titles aideufnenfd)

It was always “maybe next time”, always “soon, I promise.” And now there couldn’t be a next time, not for a long time. Soon felt further away than ever, like something that would never come.

George didn’t know how long he could stand this.

******

The first week was fine. It felt almost normal, in an odd way; George rarely left his house as it was, and the mask wasn’t a big deal when he did go out. 

He recorded videos, as usual, streamed, and generally went about his daily routine. Everything was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

******

Two weeks in. George could feel himself starting to crack, barely noticeable, but still there. It felt like his sanity was slowly seeping out through hairline fractures, slowly draining him of his very being.

He was mostly normal. He seemed normal.

No one asked, so he said nothing, and tried to ignore how the cracks splintered and widened and let more of him slip away.

******

Three weeks in. George didn’t speak to anyone anymore, not verbally anyway. There were no videos to film, and he couldn’t bring himself to stream.

Every part of him felt weighed down with exhaustion. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate. He could hear Dream’s voice echo in his ears, promising they could meet once this was all over.

How laughable that seemed now, the simple phrase “once this is all over.” There was no end in sight, just George and his empty house and a lockdown looming over it all.

George was drowning, and no one was there to save him.

******

A whole month. George didn’t remember the sound of his friend’s voices anymore, could barely even remember the cashier he’d spoken very briefly to when buying food hours earlier.

When had he last eaten, or drank? He couldn’t remember. 

His life had gone from normal to just a routine, going through the motions, to nothing at all.

******

Two months. George could count his ribs if he ran his hands down his sides. He wasn’t sure he’d recognise his own face if he saw it.

His entire body shook with every step he took, and he slept more often than not. Exhaustion was his constant companion.

No one reached out to him.

*****

Three months. Four months. Five months. Half a year.

The more the time stretched out, the more George started to slowly recover. He was far from being okay, but he couldn’t feel his ribs anymore, and was less tired.

People were starting to notice his absence by the third month; Sapnap reached out to him on the fourth, to check he was okay. George was grateful for that conversation, even if it was over text and only lasted twenty minutes or so.

By the fifth month, he finally managed to feel decent enough to message Dream. His hands had been shaky and had stalled and it had taken him far too long to type out a single message, eyes always wandering to the timestamps of the last times they spoke, months ago, but he managed it.

By the sixth month, George started streaming again. A semblance of normality had returned, and even though he was yet to record with his friends again, or to even stream with them, he walked away from those streams feeling refreshed, and a sense of pride in himself.

He was doing okay.

******

Eight months. Restrictions started to ease. George finally felt like he could breathe again.

When Dream called him to excitedly tell him that he’d booked tickets on one of the first flights to come to visit George, relief washed over him as he finally realised it was over. He was going to be okay.

And he was going to meet Dream in just over a month.

******

Time passed simultaneously quicker and slower now that George had something to look forward to. Sooner rather than later, though, he found himself in the airport, waiting for a man he’d never seen the face of, hoping to god that Dream would be able to spot him.

And then Dream was saying his name, and George was seeing his best friend for the first time in his life. Then Dream had reached for him, pulling him into a tight hug.

And if George had sunk into Dream’s embrace, shaking a little and crying a lot more, Dream didn’t mention it.

******

Life felt more than normal. George felt more alive, more himself, than ever. 

For the first time in months, he managed to really, genuinely smile.

*******

When Dream kisses George for the first time, neither of them say anything. They don’t have to; they know what they are to each other.

They make the most of the rest of Dream’s stay.

*******

George finds himself at the airport again, this time to watch Dream leave. He isn’t too sad, though; they’ve already promised a thousand times over to see each other again soon.

Dream’s determined for George to come to Florida, and George isn’t opposed. When Dream kisses him in the airport, it feels like a beginning rather than a goodbye.

******

George smiles more, now. His streams feel more alive,  _ he  _ feels more alive. 

Lockdown might have torn him down, but he built himself back up again. He’s breathing easy, and though life is never easy, he feels more relaxed and comfortable in himself than ever. 

He throws himself into filming, passion for what he does flowing from him in every video. The fans definitely notice the change, and George is glad to be where he is.

When Dream sends him the link to purchase tickets for a flight to Florida, George smiles so wide it hurts.

*******

As George boards the plane, knowing in some hours’ time he’ll find Dream at the airport, waiting for him, he knows he lucked out, in the end. Lockdown might have sucked ass, and he might have struggled, but if this is where he ends up, in every timeline and every path, then he wouldn’t change it for the world.


End file.
